Spectre (2015)

"You are a kite dancing in a hurricane, Mr Bond."

What year is it?

Are we back in the 60's?

I think it's time to send James Bond... Back to the future! 

A cryptic message from Bond's past sends him on a mission to uncover the mysterious organisation known as SPECTRE.

As I sit and write this review, I find myself at a loss for words. I can't help but reminisce about the glorious 'Casino Royale', I try to forget about 'Quantum of Solace' and I now laugh at my eager assumption that 'Spectre' was going to be better than the passable and somewhat overrated 'Skyfall'.

We are now lumped with 'Spectre', a film that can only be described as grey. I think it's finally time to admit defeat old chum and hang up the Daniel Craig bond films that unfortunately peaked with the first entry - 'Casino Royale'.

We begin the farcical journey into Bond 24 with Sam Smith's 'Writing's on the Wall' which can only be described as a winners single from the X factor. The traditional opening sequences are meant to be short, unique and artistic precursors to give us the style and the feel of the movie ahead. Unfortunately, the opening credit sequence does exactly that and gives us the precise style and feel of the movie ahead... It's pretty dull.

The film has a hopeful opening featuring the impressive "Day of the Dead" festival in Mexico and had all the makings of a classic Bond set up. Unfortunately, things went south too quick for me to even give it the benefit of the doubt. Terrible CGI mixed with a horrendous fight sequence set me on the back foot for the rest of the opening. 

What follows is a boring, generic and unoriginal bond rip off that feels lazy. From Daniel Craig's half hearted performance as an old and sluggish James Bond to the story itself which was the most cliche ridden script I've had to endure in quite some time.

Daniel Craig looks tired and uninterested throughout the entire film. His take on Bond in 'Casino Royale' was fresh and exciting. He had all the charm that Bond should have with a hell of a lot more power and ferocity that the other Bonds lacked. In 'Spectre' he's now a characterless bore who honestly looks like he wished he was somewhere else. I was hoping that they'd kill off Bond, not for some unexpected and controversial twist but rather because I was bored of watching him. 

Christoph Waltz plays exactly the villain that you'd expect when you think of Christoph Waltz playing a Bond villain. Complete with fluffy white cat, shoulder pads and an evil lair of course. For being one of the top actors in cinema recently, I was extremely let down that they didn't utilise his talent more than playing a cardboard cutout of a villain that belongs in the 60's. 

The film was praised for having Bond chasing an "older woman" (more a woman of Bond's age as Daniel Craig put it in an interview) which I was curious to see but she is in it for all of 5 minutes and serves little to no purpose other than to have Bond practically force himself on her. Combine this with an abysmal female character such as Léa Seydoux as Madeleine Swann, who is not much more than a piece of meat, and we have successfully taken an uncomfortable ride back in time. Although this isn't an adventure filled journey to Hill Valley, no this is a stroll back to a period where women belonged in the kitchen and men would fantasise about being a secret agent having sex with numerous interchangeable women. It's shocking that a script like this was passed with such blatant and out of date sexism. I thought Bond was modern and up to date after 'Casino Royale' and 'Skyfall' but it appears I was mistaken. Why must tradition dictate how the Bond films progress when a lot of the traditions are out of date and, to put it simply, a bit silly. The love story between Bond and Madeleine is totally forced and over the top to the point that it almost felt like a Disney film romance where they decide to get married after half an hour of knowing each other.

If this is a film that is meant to be a return to "classic Bond" then I fear for what could possibly be next in the lingering franchise.

James Bond is meant to be fun, exhilarating, action packed and full of adventure but 'Spectre' seems to moan and groan its way through to get to the end. When we finally arrive to a grinding halt at the last stop on this rickety train ride, the ludicrous finale makes us sigh and be thankful that the lights go up in the cinema. 

In a James Bond film, it's taken as a given that you have to suspend belief to a point and that is actually part of the fun of the James Bond world. However, 'Spectre' asks too much of the audience's willingness and ability to overlook the believability of the film.

Overall, the whole film feels like a cheap rip off of James Bond. Bad writing, horrendous characters, dull performances and lazy filmmaking makes 'Spectre' unoriginal, boring and pretty tiresome. Maybe this would have passed in 1950 but we're 65 years on... I think we've progressed slightly since then.

I could honestly forgive all that I've spoken of if 'Spectre' was, at the very least, a bit of fun. 
If it was a little lighter and did the "retro" throwbacks in good humour then I could have at least had an entertaining time with it but it's the fact that it takes itself so seriously is one of the main contributing factors of its downfall.

While this is simply my own opinion on the film, I fear my 'Back to the Future' references won't be enough to pull back some light into what has been a pretty down beat stream of thoughts... 

This is heavy.