It Follows (2015)

“Wherever you are, it’s somewhere walking straight for you.”

The film that tells us - Don’t have sex... or you’ll die.

After nineteen year old Jay has sex with an elusive and secretive boy she likes, she and her friends have to escape a mysterious creature that is stalking her everywhere she goes.

I think it’s only fair that I start off with a positive for this film. It’s nice to see an original horror film that’s not a rip off of every film since paranormal activity, there needs to be more original material released to rejuvenate a genre of film that is close to my heart.

Okay, that being said, hear are my thoughts.

'It Follows’ started off with a relatively intriguing opening but, unfortunately, never goes anywhere worthwhile.

Despite being branded as “one of the most striking American horror films in years”, not one person in the audience on Saturday night of opening weekend was scared…

Not one scream or gasp was heard and there was quiet, steady chatter throughout. Not exactly what you’d expect from “A horror to haunt your waking hours”. If that wasn't enough, I was with a friend who is scared of Smaug from ‘The Hobbit’ and even he didn’t flinch...

We are given a bland cast that are dull and lifeless in the beginning and stay dull and lifeless until the end. 

Maika Monroe plays Jay, a young nineteen year old (who apparently has the inability to wear anything but short shorts) who is being stalked after having a sexual encounter with another dull and lifeless character - Hugh. 

Hugh tells her, after having quiet and reserved sex in the back of his car, that he’s passed on a curse and the only way to pass on the evil stalker curse is to have sex with someone else. The stalker will relentlessly follow you and won't give up until it catches you.

Okay, I could get on board at this point. The rules are simple and are set out clearly and we have a creepy antagonist that will never stop until you're dead. 
Let's strap in for our horror film.

I waited patiently for the horror to start and the chills to run up my spine. 

Before I know it an hour has passed… Where is the horror?

The film drags it’s derrière along the run time like a dog with an itch. Just when you think it’s going to pick up… It doesn’t. I love slow burn horror films but it has to build up to something, like a bomb just waiting to go off but ‘It Follows’ just fizzled out and the credits rolled.

The concept of the film was more stimulating than the execution. The idea that something will follow you relentlessly and mercilessly is a scary concept, just look at films like ‘Cape Fear’ or ‘Halloween’, but watching it in ‘It Follows’ just becomes slightly mundane and quite repetitive. It starts to feel like you're just watching the same scenes over and over again.

To it’s credit, ‘It Follows’ doesn’t rely on jump scares but to be honest it doesn’t really rely on any scares… There is one scene in the film that had the potential to be a hair raising moment and I was so pleased to see a glimmer of hope but it was never capitalised on. This is more frustrating than if it didn't have any scares at all. The possibility of it being a good horror film and then falling way short of the mark.

Despite being a pretty face, Maika Monroe is a bland and pretty unintelligent character. She’s not particularly likeable and surrounds herself with equally forgettable and bland friends who you’ll forget are there most of the time. Honestly, I couldn't even remember their characters names without looking it up.

Keir Gilchrist plays Paul who is the most “friend-zoned” character in a horror film that I’ve ever seen. This guy is so desperate to be with Jay that he’s willing to have sex with her even though he knows that having sex with her will give him an evil curse that will hunt you down to kill you. He tries to pass it off as wanting to help her out as a friend but the film should definitely have been called "Paul: The Quest to Escape the Friend-zone”.

The film is obviously a throwback to the classic 80’s horror period and tries to capture that magic with the pretty teenage cast and atmospheric 80’s synth music. The soundtrack was the best part of this movie and really tugs on the nostalgia strings. It is really reminiscent of John Carpenter’s scores for 'Halloween' and 'The Thing' or films like ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’. It manipulates you to feel nostalgic for the horror films of your youth but, unfortunately, if you were to take the score out of the film then it becomes even more stale than it was already. 

It tries so hard to put a modern twist and slant on this 80's homage but ends up falling prey to all of the pit falls that tripped up most of the classic 80’s movies in the first place. The difference being that you forgive the 80's films because they're so good...

The plot leaves hints and unanswered questions but, at the end of the day, I’m not that interested in finding out the answers. It gives us pieces of information that could be interesting but then never returns to them, as if trying to leave an ambiguous ending but ends up just being frustrating. What's the point in all the mystery if we're not even slightly interested in solving it?

The creature in this film takes the form of so many various people for the stalking and part of the mystery is that you didn’t really know what it is or why it's doing what it's doing. However, I would have liked to have seen at least a little glimpse into it’s true form. I don’t want a scene where the cliché professor tells us that “It’s an evil demon because it says so in this ancient book that I just happen to have" but a flash of something or a piece of information as to what it actually is would have been nice. You end up feeling underwhelmed by it all and honestly a little bemused at the absolutely glowing reviews. 

The “climax” of this film (pay heed to those inverted commas) is somewhat illogical. I won’t go into any detail incase of spoilers but it’s very silly. There is a flimsy plan devised by the group of spiritless teens that would even make a bad cliché cringe. You'll realise it was the climax after the film finishes as it doesn't feel like one when it's actually going down.

To wrap up, if you’re looking for a horror masterpiece then I don’t think you'll find it here. If you enjoy clunky dialogue, horrors with no horror and a repetitive plot then you’re in for a thrill ride with ‘It Follows’.

The moral of the film is, basically, don’t have sex with anyone because you will die. End of story. A healthy message to send out to the mass young horror audience that will no doubt see this film. 

I don’t want to spoil anything for those of you who will see this film but I’d like to give a small round of applause to Paul, who does eventually escape the friend-zone.

Good for you Paul.